Three Surprising Ways To Supercharge Your Sex Appeal

There’s no better confidence boost than those moments when you feel like you’ve got it.

I don’t mean perfect outfit/ hair or dressed to seduce kind of sexiness, I mean that utterly comfortable, happy to be me, effortless sexiness that for most of us, only happens accidentally occasionally on holiday after a few days by the beach and a massive sleep in.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, sex appeal is not about weight, body type, age, clothing or any other superficial appearance stuff. That can all be fun, but attractiveness goes a lot deeper and is more about someone’s energy than it is checking out their symmetry.

Here are 3 surprising things that will invisibly boost your sex appeal like crazy.

Being Present

It’s ridiculous how rare it is for anyone to be truly present these days. If this was the only tip you took from these 3, prepare to see people’s reactions to you change as you genuinely listen to them and focus. Watch people’s reactions to you change and eyes widen as they realise they’re not going to be interrupted and you’re really paying attention...

Quick how to - start meditating or do yoga. 10 mins a day is a great

Getting comfortable with your sexuality

Almost every client I work with needs to make peace and embrace themselves more fully as a woman or as a man. Most of us carry a lot of conditioning about when and how it’s ok to be sexual and when it’s not, and the results is that most people go to far in one way or another or both at times. They either shove their sexual identity in your face or deny it exists. People who understand they inherently ARE a sexual being and that they know if, how and when to express this is at their discretion, are incredibly attractive.

Quick how to - for 5 mins put on hand on your belly and one on your heart and breathe, feeling the connection between your lower belly and pelvis and your heart. See if you can imagine vital energy from your pelvis connecting to the love in your heart, and then feel your love connecting back into your pelvis. It might feel strange but after a few times it really helps.

Owning our ‘flaws’

Most of us are hiding, which is a shame because sometimes it’s the thing we hate the most that others find the most adorable. We hide our bodies thinking they’re somehow not good enough. We also hide emotional stuff because we fear, if we were found out, no one would love or accept us anymore. Things like fear, shame, greed, laziness, selfishness, physical flaws, desires, tastes. When we can finally go, ‘you know what, this is my shit and I’m ok with that’ it’s super attractive. We don’t need to even talk about it, it’s an energetic thing that people will feel from you.

Quick fix - think of 3 people you admire, and then see if they have anything you would think of as a flaw. Are they famously a diva, absent minded, did they have a business or businesses that flopped or an addiction problem? This is to make you see that perfection is in the eye of the beholder!

Try these 3 things for a few days in a row and see how you start to feel different in yourself, as well as have different reactions from other people. You’re welcome :)


The Emotional Release Practice That Could Save Your Relationship

Most of us have heard that suppressing emotion isn’t healthy. Many of us have been told we should talk about our feelings, journal on them, meditate on them, release them.

But what do you do if the emotions you are experiencing are too embarrassing or shameful to admit, or you don’t have anyone to talk to? What if it feels a lot more sensible to just carry on without getting into all this feelings stuff, because you’re managing and who know what would happen if you opened the lid on that Pandora’s Box.

I can’t tell you how many clients have described it in those words - Pandora’s Box. Because many of them are just like I was in the past, so scared of ‘negative’ emotions that there’s a real fear if you opened the lid it would be overwhelming.

I was proud that I never got angry for the longest time. I thought this was because I did so much yoga and meditation and had so much empathy for others. Nope. It was just that I had suppressed my anger so deeply and was very codependent. I HATED conflict, would do anything to avoid it.

What I didn’t realise was this was keeping me stuck and hiding from myself and unable to know or articulate my needs to myself or anyone else.

Emotions most of us would do anything to get rid of:

  • Fear

  • Anxiety

  • Sadness

  • Anger

  • Jealousy

  • Shame

  • Unworthiness

We have such cultural fear and shaming around these that we prefer to pretend we never feel them or hardly ever. We do anything to hide from them, fight them, deny them, avoid them, release them. But this doesn’t work, and can actually make them have a stronger impact on you than ever.

Grim news, I know!

But what if these emotions were not such horrifying monsters? What if you looked in the box and found, rather than real monsters,  a bunch of plastic dinosaurs with little self help notes tied around their necks? Honestly, this is closer to the truth when you know how to work with emotion.

Empowerment, in a real sense, only happen when we are able to integrate these dark or ‘shadow’ emotions.

It is the only way to really experience intimacy or freedom.

But how?! I can hear you wondering.

Own Your Emotion

Allowing yourself to really feel whatever you are feeling is the first step. It can take a little time if you’ve been suppressing emotions for a while (which most all of us have).

Be Witnessed

Part of the fear of emotions is that we’ll be judged, rejected or disowned for certain feelings. Having someone you can share it with in a safe space is incredibly healing!

Integrate

Now that you know what you have going on inside, what are you going to do about it? Depending on what it is, channeling it into something, giving it a new role, transmuting (tantra term) it into a higher vibration can work. Sometimes just allowing emotion to be heard is enough to release or shift.

Part of the power of working with a coach to support your emotional integration is that you know you have a safe, unbiased space with someone who has done this work themselves, so you can express yourself and heal and get the skills before you practice in real life.

But even the awareness of how this works can help.


I am giving away 10 free spots for a 20 min sample session for you to experience my coaching style. It’s not a sales call, it’s a guided session and there are 6 spots left. Book me up here! https://bookruth.as.me/