The Purpose of Yoga

Have you ever had the experience where someone tells you not think about elephants, and immediately all you can think about is elephants?

This week I wanted to write about integration. Integration is the purpose of yoga. It’s like a process of weaving all the parts of ourselves back together. You might have heard me, or another yoga teacher, talking about yoga being when the body, mind and spirit are all united in your pose practice, for example.

But as I’ve furthered my Tantra studies this year, I have realized that this is far bigger deal that being a bit distracted or stressed out by life. All of us have learned at some stage that we have good and bad parts and that to be a good person we must keep a tight leash or even banish our less virtuous tendencies.

Body image is great example. The part of us that fit what we want = good, anything else = bad.  But the trouble is, when we internally fight with ourselves like this, we empower the bits we are trying to repress and weaken ourselves overall.

When we decide that bits of us are not ok –  thighs too big, tummy too round, legs too skinny… it doesn’t help us. But if we can change our attitude – everything changes. People often think if they drop the war, they’ll lose the battle. For example, if they stop hating their body they’ll get fat. But did loving skinniness make you skinny? No. And all the research shows when we are positively motivated we tend to stick to our plans longer and get better results. I even know people who talk to themselves.

Imagine being collaborative, hell, even supportive, of your body, for example. What could that look like?

Here’s a little exercise to demonstrate why being friends with ALL our aspects is more helpful than not.

·      Visualize your body in its ideal form. Close your eyes and feel in your body. How that would feel? How would you go about your day?

·      Then come back to your reality right now but keep that feeling and live your day the same way.

Lots of love

Ruth

Thoughts On Love...

 
One of the themes of this newsletter is learning what works for us. We are social creatures and it’s completely natural that we take on, often subconsciously, social values around us. But even though it’s natural, it’s not always what’s best for us.
 
Take ideas are love, for example. Valentines Day can really trigger a lot of people. All the ‘should's’ can kick in. People ‘shouldn’t’ make a big deal out of it, I ‘shouldn’t’ be single, my partner ‘should’ be more romantic, whatever it is.
 
I remember my first Valentine’s Day when I was with my first boyfriend. We were both 16. He forgot about the day and made up a very elaborate story about buying me roses and forgetting them somewhere. The next day, he ran out and bought some and then bashed them up a bit so they looked old! But really, I didn’t need roses and the next year, when he wrote a silly play about us, complete with pen drawings, I was way more touched than bought gifts could have made me.
 
So this week I want to invite you to consider what love means to you. In the book, The 5 Love Languages, Gary Chapman describes how different people express and feel and show love in different ways.  Some people feel loved with the right words, for example, while for others, a well time gift will make them feel it. It’s a reminder of how gloriously varied and individual people are!
 
And it’s also a great reminder to focus on what is meaningful to us. It applies to any relationship (including, of course, our self relationship. If you want to show someone love, do it in a way that resonates for them. There’s no point buying a big bunch of roses and chocolates for someone who just wishes someone would give them a hug and spend some time with them.
 

• How do you show others you care about them?
• Do you show yourself love in these ways?
• Are there any times when you’ve tried to show love, and the other person doesn’t seem to feel it? What other ways might you try?

 
Have some fun with this and let me know how you go!

Lots of love
Ruth