Two Things You Should Know About Me

There are 2 things you should know about me.

  • One, I have spent an inordinate amount of time seeking meaning and happiness in life;

  • Two, I am a compulsive sharer.

If I find something new that helps me I cannot wait to share it with basically anyone who stands still for long enough.

It’s been great for my career as my enthusiasm and passion can sell almost anything.

However I learned to be careful about what I share.

I quickly discovered it’s a horrible feeling trying to explain how amazing something is to someone you care about, only to find they take a set against it. They don’t understand. They decide it’s not for them based on the tiniest bit of information. And worst of all, they start to doubt you.

I now know this actually says more about the relationships I was in at the time than anything else. But it gave me a fear of sharing honestly.

I started keeping anything too complicated or important to me to myself. I started to second guess what I shared with everyone and to use what I did share to seek validation.

I am still often scared that what I share is going to be too hard for people to understand.

I’ve done so many things I draw on - yoga, Buddhism, Tantra, Feminine Spirituality, Embodied spirituality, positive psychology, energy healing, sexual healing, hypnosis, therapy and tons more. I’ve read most of the luminary thinkers like Ekhart Tolle and Byron Katie as well as the lifestyle gurus like Brene Brown, Russel Brand and Tony Robbins.

I am always learning but I’ve stopped jumping on the next thing because I’ve noticed it’s not about finding the right thing, it’s about applying what we learn. 10 different theories or multiple gurus can’t save us if we just consume them briefly before moving on to the next shiny thing.

The things I work with now are the things I have found to be the most powerful.

I believe the biggest factors to how we experience life are self love, relationships and empowerment (the ability to know and take action towards what we want).

And I believe the way to get there is a blend of working with our mind and our body.

I am still human and I haven’t mastered everything (or anything really!) in life perfectly but I do know these things for sure:

- The key to self love is the body

- The key to freedom is knowing how to work with the mind

- They key to amazing sex and relationships is truth and self responsibility

Which is all a lot more fun than it sounds!

I believe with all my heart the work I do in coaching is the most important thing we can do in our lives.

And every time I start to get quieter about it someone shares a story about something I shared that helped, or asks me to share more.

We need more people to talk about sex, relationships, life, in a more honest way so these topics become more normalised.

I often think about how we can do this.

How can we do this without evoking any shame, fear, or insecurity? In a way that is inclusive and accessible?

And I think the most important thing is to keep the dialogue going.

So I am going to keep sharing!

And I'd love to hear if you have things you'd like to hear more about.

Knowing The Problem Is Not The Same As Being Free Of The Problem

Ok someone has to say it - deep held beliefs and traumas are NOT healed by talking!

Unhelpful behavioural patterns, mummy and daddy issues, attachment styles - people talk about them all the time but decades of psychology have shown us one thing -

Knowing what the problem is is not the same as being free of the problem.

These patterns play out in our businesses, our relationships, the bedroom, our bank accounts, our health.

To break out of being ruled by these unconscious issues we have to involve all of the above AND work with the body.

Why? Because the body is the way to access deeper held patterns in our primal brain and nervous system.

Most of the things that hold us back in life are not flaws with our logic. They’re not even mindset issues.

They are experiences and belief systems about love and safety that are stored in our primal brain and body which we can only access through the body.

We need the other stuff (I LOVE a good talk or journal session), but without the body and spirituality pieces it’s like trying to do it all with one hand tied behind your back. Not very effective.

Examples of how this plays out

- Fear of being seen

- Fear of being abandoned/alone

- Can’t feel self love

- Don’t feel worthy or deserving

- Resistance to intimacy or vulnerability

This is literally coded into our system before we even have language. It’s not weak will or lack of inner work or alignment.

What we know works (science y'know) is this:

Working with a combination

🙏 Psychology - all the parts of the brain

🙏 Biology - the body

🙏 Spirituality - love heals all!

Working with just one or 2 of these can be valuable. But is unlikely to get you the deep and lasting results you want and deserve.

If you're intrigued by this and are sick of faffing with doing all the things and still going around in circles or feeling stuck pm me. I'll add you to my community and you can start to learn how to leverage your system to finally start getting what you want.