Most of us have heard that suppressing emotion isn’t healthy. Many of us have been told we should talk about our feelings, journal on them, meditate on them, release them.
But what do you do if the emotions you are experiencing are too embarrassing or shameful to admit, or you don’t have anyone to talk to? What if it feels a lot more sensible to just carry on without getting into all this feelings stuff, because you’re managing and who know what would happen if you opened the lid on that Pandora’s Box.
I can’t tell you how many clients have described it in those words - Pandora’s Box. Because many of them are just like I was in the past, so scared of ‘negative’ emotions that there’s a real fear if you opened the lid it would be overwhelming.
I was proud that I never got angry for the longest time. I thought this was because I did so much yoga and meditation and had so much empathy for others. Nope. It was just that I had suppressed my anger so deeply and was very codependent. I HATED conflict, would do anything to avoid it.
What I didn’t realise was this was keeping me stuck and hiding from myself and unable to know or articulate my needs to myself or anyone else.
Emotions most of us would do anything to get rid of:
We have such cultural fear and shaming around these that we prefer to pretend we never feel them or hardly ever. We do anything to hide from them, fight them, deny them, avoid them, release them. But this doesn’t work, and can actually make them have a stronger impact on you than ever.
Grim news, I know!
But what if these emotions were not such horrifying monsters? What if you looked in the box and found, rather than real monsters, a bunch of plastic dinosaurs with little self help notes tied around their necks? Honestly, this is closer to the truth when you know how to work with emotion.
Empowerment, in a real sense, only happen when we are able to integrate these dark or ‘shadow’ emotions.
It is the only way to really experience intimacy or freedom.
But how?! I can hear you wondering.
Own Your Emotion
Allowing yourself to really feel whatever you are feeling is the first step. It can take a little time if you’ve been suppressing emotions for a while (which most all of us have).
Part of the fear of emotions is that we’ll be judged, rejected or disowned for certain feelings. Having someone you can share it with in a safe space is incredibly healing!
Now that you know what you have going on inside, what are you going to do about it? Depending on what it is, channeling it into something, giving it a new role, transmuting (tantra term) it into a higher vibration can work. Sometimes just allowing emotion to be heard is enough to release or shift.
Part of the power of working with a coach to support your emotional integration is that you know you have a safe, unbiased space with someone who has done this work themselves, so you can express yourself and heal and get the skills before you practice in real life.
But even the awareness of how this works can help.
I am giving away 10 free spots for a 20 min sample session for you to experience my coaching style. It’s not a sales call, it’s a guided session and there are 6 spots left. Book me up here! https://bookruth.as.me/