Should We Get Counselling or Coaching?

I often get asked ‘what’s better, coaching or counselling?’

Firstly, it bears repeating it is my GREAT WISH that more couples would invest in their relationships while things are good!

Waiting until something isn’t good is like waiting until your health is suffering before going to the gym or eating well.

And like going to the gym or eating healthy, while ‘working’ on your relationship might feel like it’s an effort to start with, if you persist, it becomes a joyful part of who you are and you cannot imagine not wanting to be fit, or not wanting to invest in your partnership.

So this leads to my answer, because no one ever went to counselling because their relationship was already good. Counselling is what people turn to when they are desperate. And sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t.

Coaching is for people who believe in conscious investment. People who want more and better.

The people I see being critical of others investing in their relationships or love lives don’t tend to be the ones in great relationships.

The people I see who believe that love and relationships and sex should ‘just work’ are something to worry about after the business, after the money, after, after, after, are NOT the ones I see getting happier and happier as the years go by and are rarely the people with joyful love lives and ever deepening relationships.

Coaching is to counselling like planning a menu is to washing up. You can still make things better in the middle of the meal, but it's easier the earlier you start. 

Then The Kids Came Along...

I'm thrilled to be featured in Thrive Online yesterday talking about the advent of children and the affect this can have on relationships.

I spent the last week doing informal interviews with people about how their relationship intimacy had coped after becoming a family. As a sex, love and relationship coach I know all about how to make partnership work and create intimacy, but I haven’t had kids and I wanted to be sure there wasn’t anything significant I was overlooking in my aim to support these couples.

I was blown away by the generosity and honesty of the volunteers who spoke with me and humbled by their stories.

All of them told me they simply weren’t prepared for the reality of what having babies would do to their lives, even those who did ALL the courses and trainings before.

You can read the full article here

 

Photo by Simon Matzinger on Unsplash