Life, Tantra & Cycles of Expansion and Contraction

As I write this post, it is blowing a gale outside in the Melbourne change of season spring weather.

Last week I signed up for a new coaching program. I am always in some sort of program or other. I love learning and improving and there’s always more! Plus support is key as an entrepreneur.

The program is super intense and masculine and driven and I love it! But it also reminds me that, of all the paths we can choose in this life, self care can be the hardest. We need to be warriors in defence of our wellness.

I have been in full time business for myself since April and there has been so much to learn. It feels as though every part of my life has been tested - boundaries, self care, financial security, what I really stand for.

I know how tacky it can be to share these ‘oh being an entrepreneur can be so hard’ type stories but the truth is, these last few months have been really tough and very humbling.

The strategies I used to use in my corporate life, that I thought I needed to survive in that world, have turned out to be even more necessary working for myself.

All the main principles I teach - slowing down, focusing on pleasure, living in tune with my own internal rhythms rather than the relentless pace of the external world, have been tested and many of them fell over.

It has felt, at times, like I was experiencing some massive reversion, where I fell back into insecurities and dark places I haven’t had in years. It meant embracing these like old friends and holding them with love no matter how much I wanted to resist and fight. In Tantra these are seen as cycles of expansion and contraction - where we feel like we have gone backwards or failed, but in fact, it’s a cycle that repeats and moves forward if we don’t battle it.

When we go cycles of expansion and contraction but we don’t allow the flow or support ourselves it shows up in all sorts of ways:

  • Exhaustion

  • Health problems

  • Brain fog

  • Libido goes crazy or disappears

  • Confidence crisis

  • Feeling loneliness and isolation

  • Financial stress

For me, it meant recommitting to my tools like they were life savers- stress cycle release, breath work, yoga, meditation and making sure that there’s room for fun, pleasure and connection on my schedule - possibly the hardest part!

It’s meant coming back to being kind over and over, and not allowing the bullying perfectionist critic in my head to steam roll me into submission.

The Yogic/Tantric path is a practice, a thing that we have to keep coming back to over and over. Every day a new beginning, every moment a choice, and every experience and opportunity to move towards freedom and bliss.

As we move into spring or fall depending on where you are, it’s the perfect time to reflect on what are you integrating from the past season?

  • What are you celebrating?

  • What are you ready to release?

  • What are you longing for in the next?

It’s the perfect time to set your intention for the next season and commit that no matter what, you are going to look after yourself, you are going to be fierce with your boundaries and passionate in pursuit of your desires.

Lots of love,