Why Success is Accidental, in a way

 Have you ever noticed that when one thing is going well in life, other things seem to go better too? For example, you start exercising and you notice you’re feeling more confident at work, or your relationships are going really well and your health improves. Or, have you ever faced a change that you thought was going to be terrible, but when it happened turned out to be quite good, maybe even better than before?
 
When I first started working with a lot more private students last year, I was perplexed to notice a lot of variation in their experience. The students I was working with who were completely new to yoga were having massive breakthroughs and successes. They were reporting feeling better in their bodies, more focused and confident at work, losing weight, feeling happier, their relationships were improving. They were becoming dedicated yogis and it felt like a process of joy. It was phenomenal!
 
But then the students I had who came to work with me with a definite goal just didn’t seem to achieve as much. Sure, we got them where they wanted to be, but somehow it felt harder, and they weren’t reporting all these other things, and seemed to really struggle to maintain their practice.
 
Then I learned about a theory called ‘Obliquity’, by John Kay (see his TED talk here). This is the idea that complex goals are often best pursued indirectly. Here’s the reasoning: complex objectives tend to be imprecisely defined. They may contain elements that aren't necessarily compatible with each other. In practice, we can only learn about the nature of the objectives and how to achieve them during a process of experiment and discovery.

Examples provided are Apple and Microsoft (aren't they always?). These companies have been financially super successful while focussing on delivering a concept to people, whereas over the years a lot of companies whose main goal is profit, such as a lot of banks, have failed. 
 
The people I worked with who newer were open to this process of experiment and discovery. They had no preconceived ideas of how it should work or what it would or wouldn’t be compatible with. In yoga there’s a term for this called ‘aparigraha’ or non-grasping. When we hold on too tight to something we can sometimes suffocate possibility.
 
The students who had a definite idea about what they wanted actually stifled their experience by being definite about how it should look and what it would and would not be compatible with. 
 
Feeling happy, fulfilled and growing spiritually are complex goals. But it is perfectly reasonable and desirable to want them!
 
The good news is it means the most effective way to approach our goals is to be open, experimental and playful. Don’t focus on the big ticket items all the time. Focus on the steps along the way, be open to the path heading in a direction you didn’t expect, and make sure to enjoy the ride!
 
Lots of love
Ruth

Why being consistent is overrated

Hi Yogis

Have you ever started a new habit and gone really strong for 2 weeks only to fall off the wagon and have to start from scratch?

I have done this many times! And it hasn’t seemed to matter what I was trying to do – a new exercise plan, dietary change, work habit… It used to frustrate the hell out of me. I got so angry with myself and couldn’t understand why I was so inconsistent.

Then I started learning about cycles. When you think about it, nature is cyclical. Seasons, life cycles, day and night, even cycles of breath. What I thought was inconsistency because each day wasn’t the same was actually consistency within a cycle.

The whole concept of being the same all the time as desirable is relatively new. It was only with the industrial revolution that it was even possible to have the expectation that humans would be consistent all the time, with things like electric lights and standard work hours.

So getting back to hormonal cycles, did you know that the hormone levels in women’s brains can vary by up 25% depending on where they are in their cycle? This is huge! Men have a cycle too, each 24-hours. In my Life Artistry courses and mentoring I teach a lot about this and how to leverage it for work and life. It’s super cool and life changing and I could talk about it all day!

However, in the interests of keeping this concise, I’m going to just encourage you to let yourself flow with life a little bit more and start noticing your own patterns. Rather than getting annoyed when you aren’t equally productive or energetic all the time, start paying attention to your cycles. It’s easiest to start with your daily patterns:

Is there a time in the day when you feel naturally more focused?

When you have more physical energy?

When you feel most extroverted and dynamic?

It can be really powerful to start to notice and then plan to do the activities that come most easily at that time as much as you can. The more you can do this, the more you’ll find you can achieve more with less effort and enjoy what you’re doing more. It’s about leveraging our nature rather than battling it.

Let me know how you go!

Lots of love

Ruth