Knowing The Problem Is Not The Same As Being Free Of The Problem

Ok someone has to say it - deep held beliefs and traumas are NOT healed by talking!

Unhelpful behavioural patterns, mummy and daddy issues, attachment styles - people talk about them all the time but decades of psychology have shown us one thing -

Knowing what the problem is is not the same as being free of the problem.

These patterns play out in our businesses, our relationships, the bedroom, our bank accounts, our health.

To break out of being ruled by these unconscious issues we have to involve all of the above AND work with the body.

Why? Because the body is the way to access deeper held patterns in our primal brain and nervous system.

Most of the things that hold us back in life are not flaws with our logic. They’re not even mindset issues.

They are experiences and belief systems about love and safety that are stored in our primal brain and body which we can only access through the body.

We need the other stuff (I LOVE a good talk or journal session), but without the body and spirituality pieces it’s like trying to do it all with one hand tied behind your back. Not very effective.

Examples of how this plays out

- Fear of being seen

- Fear of being abandoned/alone

- Can’t feel self love

- Don’t feel worthy or deserving

- Resistance to intimacy or vulnerability

This is literally coded into our system before we even have language. It’s not weak will or lack of inner work or alignment.

What we know works (science y'know) is this:

Working with a combination

🙏 Psychology - all the parts of the brain

🙏 Biology - the body

🙏 Spirituality - love heals all!

Working with just one or 2 of these can be valuable. But is unlikely to get you the deep and lasting results you want and deserve.

If you're intrigued by this and are sick of faffing with doing all the things and still going around in circles or feeling stuck pm me. I'll add you to my community and you can start to learn how to leverage your system to finally start getting what you want.

Three Surprising Ways To Supercharge Your Sex Appeal

There’s no better confidence boost than those moments when you feel like you’ve got it.

I don’t mean perfect outfit/ hair or dressed to seduce kind of sexiness, I mean that utterly comfortable, happy to be me, effortless sexiness that for most of us, only happens accidentally occasionally on holiday after a few days by the beach and a massive sleep in.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, sex appeal is not about weight, body type, age, clothing or any other superficial appearance stuff. That can all be fun, but attractiveness goes a lot deeper and is more about someone’s energy than it is checking out their symmetry.

Here are 3 surprising things that will invisibly boost your sex appeal like crazy.

Being Present

It’s ridiculous how rare it is for anyone to be truly present these days. If this was the only tip you took from these 3, prepare to see people’s reactions to you change as you genuinely listen to them and focus. Watch people’s reactions to you change and eyes widen as they realise they’re not going to be interrupted and you’re really paying attention...

Quick how to - start meditating or do yoga. 10 mins a day is a great

Getting comfortable with your sexuality

Almost every client I work with needs to make peace and embrace themselves more fully as a woman or as a man. Most of us carry a lot of conditioning about when and how it’s ok to be sexual and when it’s not, and the results is that most people go to far in one way or another or both at times. They either shove their sexual identity in your face or deny it exists. People who understand they inherently ARE a sexual being and that they know if, how and when to express this is at their discretion, are incredibly attractive.

Quick how to - for 5 mins put on hand on your belly and one on your heart and breathe, feeling the connection between your lower belly and pelvis and your heart. See if you can imagine vital energy from your pelvis connecting to the love in your heart, and then feel your love connecting back into your pelvis. It might feel strange but after a few times it really helps.

Owning our ‘flaws’

Most of us are hiding, which is a shame because sometimes it’s the thing we hate the most that others find the most adorable. We hide our bodies thinking they’re somehow not good enough. We also hide emotional stuff because we fear, if we were found out, no one would love or accept us anymore. Things like fear, shame, greed, laziness, selfishness, physical flaws, desires, tastes. When we can finally go, ‘you know what, this is my shit and I’m ok with that’ it’s super attractive. We don’t need to even talk about it, it’s an energetic thing that people will feel from you.

Quick fix - think of 3 people you admire, and then see if they have anything you would think of as a flaw. Are they famously a diva, absent minded, did they have a business or businesses that flopped or an addiction problem? This is to make you see that perfection is in the eye of the beholder!

Try these 3 things for a few days in a row and see how you start to feel different in yourself, as well as have different reactions from other people. You’re welcome :)