I had to smile yesterday when a women in my group asked me how to deal with ‘overwhelming sexual energy’. This is a great problem to have!!
Sexual energy isn’t complicated- it’s just energy, felt as being turned on.
Everyone can feel energy - it’s that tingling feeling you sometimes get in your fingers or toes, the butterflies in your chest, the waves of warmth when you feel love.
We all feel it but often, but often we aren’t aware that we can direct or use this energy consciously as we choose.
So we tend to either feel a lack of it or an excess. It’s either wishing we had more turn on or feeling almost out of control when we are very turned on.
For me, I used to feel frustrated with myself when I didn’t feel a lot and then out of control when I did. It felt like pressure valve I had to release or I would go crazy. I had no idea I could move it through my body and turn it into a generalised, blissful glow that could last and feel amazing.
Here’s the thing - this energy is for you. It’s for you to fuel your life - your creativity, drive, inspiration, motivation.
It’s not a good or bad thing in itself, but you can make it have good or bad effects depending on how you relate to it and use it.
Our lifestyles these days are very bad for our sexual energy, terrible for women and actually radically bad for men as well. So if we want to maintain a healthy sexuality, we need to cultivate it consciously and here are some of the ways we can do that.
Firstly, recognising sexual energy is a thing worthy of cultivating, for ourselves and for our relationships.
Secondly, it’s often helpful to reframe our relationship with it. Energy ebbs and flows so if you don’t feel tons of it or you do feel tons of it - it doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you!
When you recognise this - it gives you a powerful reframe. You get to choose what you do with this energy. You can cultivate and direct it. You can channel it as you wish and also, you get to enjoy it! This is vital life energy.
If you feel too much of it you don’t have to act on it. You can enjoy the feeling without having to release the pressure. You can practice grounding, ideally standing in bare feet on the ground or earth and imagining or feeling excess energy draining into the ground where it can be recycled. You can use your breath to cool down.
You can also learn to move it through your body and store it, which is super cool! I love teaching clients how to do this.
If you feel like you don’t have a lot of sexual/erotic energy and you want more you can cultivate it through things like awareness, breath, movement. Anything that gets you into nature helps, staying healthy and active and learning things for erotic self care and sexual mastery - like Tantra and Tsoaist practices and jade egg - is a superb way to make staying sexually radiant and feeling vital and alive just a normal part of your life.
If you decide to explore this stuff, make sure to find someone with training that feels super safe to you and I promise, you will never look back!