We’ve known it for years and now research has confirmed it as fact, women give away their energy too much. We do it everywhere – work, to children, to partners, to friends.
Men and women do this but in women it’s an almost ingrained compulsion to over-give. It results in anxiety, fatigue, overwhelm, and eventually exhaustion.
It’s super painful because everything in life when we are depleted feels really hard! We’re in struggle street, we don’t have the energy to connect with others the way we want to, we have to say to things because we’re too tired and it feels horrible.
When we learn to make energy our friend, it feels almost like we are available for life again. There’s a sense of spaciousness, fun, ease and flow. But the difference in a life that drains you dry and one that fill you up can sometimes be tiny.
Here are 5 things you can do right now that will help you sustain more energy
(all of us will have some things we are doing better than others)
Work with your constitution
What drains you and what gives you energy?
Some of us find social interactions tiring whereas for others being with people energises them. Often it’s not what we do but how we do it that makes it a drain. If you have to cook dinner and you hate cooking, what could you do to make it easier or more fun?
Move your body
Being sedentary is one of the most exhausting things we can do. Try getting in some movement every single day as a baseline. If you’re feeling tired and drained it can be stuck energy. Doing something like a few Lion’s Breaths can help. Go for a run or boxing session. If you’re feeling it, screaming into a pillow or literally throwing yourself on the bed and having a toddler style tantrum will really help your system clear out stress.
Balance your self-talk
Something that a lot of us do that is super tiring is to have a lot of negative self-talk going on. If you start the day looking in the mirror and thinking you’re looking rough, then get annoyed with yourself for hitting snooze, and then for all the things on your to-do list – it’s a massive drain. Imagine it as someone following your around the house saying that stuff – not exactly inspiring, right?
The trick is to have self-compassion. When you hear the negative voice, can you balance it with a kind response?
Start the day way slower than usual. Meditate for 10 mins, do some yoga. Try and slow everything down and do one thing at a time. It’s an illusion that multi-tasking gets more done.
What lights you up?
Relationships expert, Esther Perel, calls this ‘eros’ and says it’s one of the most important things any women can do in her life and in her relationships. Eros is the things that make us feel alive and vibrant. Think of all the things people pour into their children. New games, stories, new clothes, fun activities. When was the last time you did any of these things for yourself?
Lots of love